Live closer to real life What do people care about? After getting my Ph.D., I chose not to pursue an academic career because I wished to be closer to "real life". I moved to my grandmother's house and lived with her in a Chicago neighborhood, Marquette Park, which had "changed over" and gangs of Black-American youth were establishing themselves. 1105 A-0

Get out of my comfort zone Conversing with: self-check At times, I made an effort to go outside my comfort zone, especially to reach out to those who are marginalized. I chose to live with my grandmother in her neighborhood, Marquette Park, which had become primarily Black American. I would practice engaging the youth hanging out on the corner. I ventured into the Black American community to join a Catholic church there, St. Benedict the African. In 2006, I stayed for three weeks in Nablus, Israeli-occupied Palestine, and taught nonviolence there.704 F-1

Get involved Conversing with: my own limits I have exposed my failings and strengths by getting involved and not always holding back. At Lithuanian scout camp Rakas, as a nineteen year old "Brother of the Forest", I spied on the teenage girl scouts from out of the forest. They saw me, but I didn't retreat. I'm sure I looked pretty stupid. In 2009, I went to a philosophy workshop in Lithuania, which had rejected my wish to talk about my findings in my quest to know everything, including my video. At mid-day, one of the speakers gave a long screed against America, women, homosexuals, minorities. At question time, I asked, "Maybe Hitler was right?" and he replied, "As soon as I talk about such things, I am inevitably compared to Hitler." As nobody kept him from speaking so irresponsibly, I got up and punched him, saying that the Nazis had executed my grandfather. (It seems that subsequently he stopped pursuing his line of thinking, at least publicly.) I have many such incidents, stupid or noble, because I am willing to step out of norms. 700 T-1

Accept a position of responsibility Conversing with: opportunities I have learned by accepting invitations to participate. I complemented Audrey Barnes on the gospel choir at St. Benedict the African and she invited me to join. I wrote a Lithuanian rock song for Loreta Grikaviciute and she invited me to sing it. Then in Lithuania we were invited to perform in the rock festival Roko marsas per Lietuva. As a youth, I was invited to lead a scout group. In Uzhupis, I was invited to show my drawings, do big works and paint new works. Generally, this expanded my possibilities and opened me up to my talents. I appreciated others' talents and I learned a bit about the logic and sensibility of each domain.685 C2-0

Live precariously if that is more fruitful Conversing with: spiritual stagnation I grew up in a Southern Californian suburban utopia, comfortably, in a loving family. But I learned to "live on top of a question mark", as some of us say in Lithuanian. Live without assurance of income or in a neighborhood that others might not consider safe.788 A-0

Accept everyone the same, as if God Conversing with: simplicity In accepting a person as myself, if they are God, I give them my full attention, and realize how surprisingly intelligent they are, or troubled or proud or dignified or harmonious. It makes whole the many things to learn.694 B4-1

Be interrogated Conversing with: my virtue I try to accept provocations from Jehovah's Witnesses and evangelicals regarding my life. I feel disturbed when they don't show interest in me, but treat me presumptuously as an infidel or sinner. Yet this is how I stay open, how I learn about myself and the weakness of their doctrine.761 B2-1

Listen to faithless sermons Conversing with: spiritual patience Many priests speak without inner faith and so I note how they miss Jesus's meaning. The good son, the brother of the prodigal son, reminds me of Jesus, what he must have felt. 762 B4-1

Invite all people Conversing with: God's will In my activities, I've tried to be and stay open to everybody and not be exclusive. I have tried not to worry about people's intelligence, competence, reliability, wealth or niceness. This has helped me to be more flexible with regard to what might happened, how things might develop, and be more appreciative as to what other people might contribute. It has also gotten me to develop relevant filters, such as expecting certain behavior. I've focused on "independent thinkers", expected people to be accountable to their own deepest value in life, or to engage me based on their own question that they wish to answer.699 B4-0

Empathize with abstract person Conversing with: person's fate I may think things through without experience but by empathizing with an abstract person. This helps me to be sensitive to human weaknesses, to respond seriously to any talk of suicide, to think compassionately about the education system, health care system, to expect meaning in physical intimacy. I can consider, how might I help a person-in-general in particular circumstances?595 B2-0

Take up my enemy's point of view Conversing with: excluded person When I take up the point of view of a person antagonistic to me, I can learn what they want from me and others. I can focus on that.740 B2-1

Imagine another person's mind Conversing with: mind In tutoring, I would often understand my students by trying to model their mind, and so imagine the obstacles that were keeping them from solving a problem.692 10-0

Imagine another's mindset Conversing with: person In studying Jesus's emotions as documented in the Gospel of Mark, I imagined Jesus's mindset, what were his expectations that led to his emotions, and how did he respond? In talking with a person, I can imagine what keeps them from saying things they might say.649 B2-1

Empathize with abstract person Conversing with: person's fate I may think things through without experience but by empathizing with an abstract person. This helps me to be sensitive to human weaknesses, to respond seriously to any talk of suicide, to think compassionately about the education system, health care system, to expect meaning in physical intimacy. I can consider, how might I help a person-in-general in particular circumstances?595 B2-0

Hearing what is needed of me I traveled with my friend to his home in China. He arranged for me to stay there for an additional six weeks with his family. There was no way for me to directly pay his family for food or anything as that would be inappropriate. However, he took care of that for me. The one thing that he set straight was that I would do my own laundry by hand because otherwise his mother would have to do it. So we agreed on that and it seemed to work out well.975 O-0

Stay in touch Conversing with: good will Sometimes my values seem to diverge so sharply from people I know that I don't see the point of maintaining a relationship. But then I realize that, even so, I can have good will and maintain it at some most basic level. I allow and recognize that there may be some purpose greater than my own perspective.752 C4-0

End a relationship Conversing with: inability I had a roommate who was very bright but, as time went on, I wasn't able to engage with him in a constructive way. I decided that we were injuring each other as people and so I told him that I was ending our relationship. I learned my limitations, that I was unable to have a healthy relationship with him.750 C3-0

Wait Conversing with: associations I learned to wait sometimes, to give a chance for solutions to arise, for my unconscious to percolate or for the situation to develop. I learned to give God a chance. For example, I was living with David Ellison-Bey and his home was confirmed as foreclosed and then sold, and by law, I had to leave. I decided not to rush to leave, but waited to find a suitable place.690 C1-0

Be naive Conversing with: my assumptions As I studied, I supposed that the more I learned in school, the more kinds of jobs I could do and find when the time came. I thought that math was practical and that I would find many ways to apply a Ph.D. Later, as I took loans and risks to start my lab, Minciu Sodas, I thought that I could always find a regular job if I failed. I thought so, accepting tenants of my environment. Now, I see differently, but my wholehearted naivete then, my lack of doubt then helps me as I now reflect and conclude.695 F-0

Stick to what is right Conversing with: world I've tried, even if ever so slightly, to stay true to what is right. For example, I force myself to at least skim the terms of service when I am asked to click that I have read and understood them. At work, in public, and socially, I note and stand up for what is right. Sometimes I lose out as a consequence, and sometimes I gain in different ways. This helps me appreciate and identify with the righteous, the downtrodden and the marginalized.701 T-1

Object to the existing system ever so slightly Conversing with: justice In the course of my usual activities, I address injustices that I notice, even though it may get me into trouble. I reported election violations in Chicago. When I won a Knight News Challenge award, I spoke up about the need to address "ethnic cleansing" in Chicago. I smuggled books as I traveled. I poured out alcohol at events where I felt people were pressured to drink. I would walk across the Black American neighborhood to show myself that I could do it.683 F-0

Find out for myself Conversing with: limits set by constraints Sometimes I'm able to observe and learn first hand rather than through books and schools. In Lithuania, in 1988 and 1989, I was able to observe up close Lithuania's reform movement which achieved independence from the Soviet Union. In 1980, I visited Lithuania as a 15 year old, and was able to talk to relatives of various backgrounds. I walked the streets of Vilnius and saw how different buildings that I recognized from Saturday school all fit together spatially with regard to each other. I traveled through Europe in the summer of 1989 and saw with my own eyes the plaza of Venice which Marco Polo departed from. From 1998 to 2010, I sought clients for Minciu Sodas and gained first hand experience of sorts in business.687 F-1

Observe history in the making Conversing with: history World news is repetitive. It is typically reported before, during and after it happens. And in Lithuania's independence movement, I witnessed how people did not consider creative alternatives but looked to known solutions, namely, independence.767 30-0

Test out assumptions Conversing with: understanding Is it true that everyone can be a genius? As a tutor for mentally challenged adults I realized that there are some objective challenges to learning yet everybody may have special gifts, some extra scraps of cortex for individual talents. 686 F-1

Attend lecturesConversing with: science I learned much physics and math in college through lectures, especially physics lectures where professors such as Isaac Abella imparted their intuition. He would say things that the books weren't saying or weren't able to make prominent, but got across the idea at hand and the spirit of the subject.768 1-0

Get to know the classics Conversing with: content I like to read the classics in literature, philosophy, religion and other fields because they help me understand what is pertinent, fundamental, creative, fruitful and influential, what is a real contribution. I enjoyed learning about and listening to classics of rock, jazz and classical music. This also helps me find my own way, what I myself am attracted to, makes me feel safe to do that and not feel manipulated by the spirit of our times. I appreciate the classics as an efficient way to learn.743 1-0

Illustrative examples Conversing with: fundamental knowledge Certain examples from real life make vivid for me the reality of the sciences. In physics, I was most impressed when our professor Isaac Abella showed us that if we place our forefinger just above our thumb and look through that gap in the light, then we will see diffraction effects, ripples of light and darkness, which is evidence that light is a wave, which interferes with itself constructively (brightening the light) and destructively (canceling out, leaving darkness). I was deeply impressed that such a physical fact could be observed and deduced from our bare hands. It was available to all humankind, yet who cared to make sense of it? 601 CB-0

Ask for advice Conversing with: know how I learn many things by asking people who are knowledgeable in particular fields such as computers, Linux, Lithuanian, languages, websites.689 1-1

Reuse existing solutions Conversing with: solution As a computer programmer, I learned to solve many challenges by reusing and rewriting existing code that I or others had developed for similar problems. 753 T-0

Interrogate Conversing with: advisor When I go shopping for something I don't know much about, such as shoes, bicycles, hiking equipment, computers or gifts for women, I try to ask the salesperson questions, both to learn about what to look for, and to discern if they are genuinely helping me and I should follow their advice.688 1-1

Try out advice received Conversing with: instruction I've tried out advice from people in nutrition, health, hiking, music, culture, literature... Sometimes these are knowledgeable people and sometimes it just seems that they know something they found useful and are glad to share. Such knowledge tends to be useful, handling some issue, and may be fruitful conceptually, in that it makes personal sense and develops sensitivity in the relevant field.742 1-1

Reading a book that somebody recommends I've learned quite a bit from several books that others recommended that I read. An IrDA member from Oregon introduced me to Christopher Alexander's "The Timeless Way of Building". It's a wonderfully poetic book and I rank Alexander along with Plato and Kant for his insightful theory and practice of pattern languages. Malcolm Duerod recommended that I read "The Shack", a book depicting God's relationship with himself as the Holy Trinity, but it got me thinking that, in my imagination, God is alone. June Terry recommended "A Purpose Driven Life" and I've just read the first chapter, but it made me realize that, as a child, I appreciated that my happy life did not come from my own merits, yet it was I who appreciated that, and I who decided to apply myself, and I who engaged God regarding that, as I myself thought best.1299 C2-0

Value my life Conversing with: God's gift In China, after a conversation with Tong Zhu about the moral dilemmas of being a doctor, I realized that I was too precious to God to make a living as I had from a job that I did not think contributed to society, coding for a health care start-up serving a regulatory mandate of dubious merit.776 O-1

How I feel Conversing with: myself Sometimes, when I feel pressured by life, I ask myself, What do I truly want? and that helps guide me.710 0-0

Dedicating my best hour Starting around 1994, when I started to work from home as a software developer, I made sure to start my day by working on my philosophy for an hour or two. Even later, as I struggled and failed to make a living from my lab, Minciu Sodas, I always dedicated my best hour or two to my philosophy. My best hour is in the morning, when my mind is fresh and uncluttered with concerns. I pray to God, do some calisthenics, eat breakfast, check my emails to keep them off my mind, and then apply my mind to my philosophy, preferably to the deepest question that I can. My goal is to get a new idea every day. Then I feel that my day has gone well and it doesn't matter what else happens. I typically continue by reviewing, writing and sharing my strategy for applying myself and making a living. As the day wears on, I make some effort to make a living. But I don't let that have my best energies. I believe that we all have a right and duty to spend one or two hours each day of our best time to apply ourselves and do what we were created and inspired to do.1904 B4-0

Atune my mind In 2000 or so, I noted eight areas in my personal life where I wanted to improve myself: Be with God, foster my conscience, foster my willpower, foster my stewardship, be curious, serve others, support others' endeavors, be successful. Each morning, after I prayed, I would run through each of these and imagine how I might do that during the day. I didn't try to plan to actually do them because it would be too contrived to carve out so much time. Rather, I would imagine how I might do that, and then during the day I would be open to similar opportunities and seize them. Over several years this helped me change in these ways and I felt better about myself. Afterwards, I gave up this practice because it had achieved its purpose and it took up time, perhaps twenty minutes. 2259 C2-1

Prime my mind In 2000 or so, I made a list of eight areas in my personal life where I wanted to improve myself: Be with God; foster my conscience; foster my willpower; foster my stewardship; be curious; serve others; support others' endeavors; be successful. Then every morning after I prayed I would spend about twenty minutes going through the list and just imagining examples of how I might work on each goal that day. In this way, I primed my mind so that I was ready to make time for such activities as they came up naturally. My life was very flexible and this mental exercise was much better for me than trying to schedule activities. After several years, I felt that these matters had become quite natural, my feelings had subsided concerning them, and I didn't have to do this routine, but they were part of my life.1921 C2-1

Make meaningful Conversing with: meaningfulness In Vilnius, I babysat my god daughter Deboryte and helped her with her homework. That ended badly because I was interested to teach her more broadly, but she was focused on doing what was assigned, and so I made her upset. Even so, I tried to draw meaning from the evening, and I remembered that I was a good tutor. I had worked at Ivy League Tutoring in Chicago, and since I had exhausted my hopes to make a living from Minciu Sodas, perhaps I could go back and work there. I called the founder, Adrian Hunter, and indeed, he agreed to hire me, and I left for Chicago within a month. More generally, as a youth, I tried to draw meaning from every episode in my life, every talent I developed, and build on them, although certain skills, such as my Spanish, always seemed underutilized, and I spent time on others, such as playing guitar, that I never sufficiently developed to get past the hump so I could build on them. 759 C4-1

Check myself Conversing with: view from the side When people criticize me, I check myself, but often their criticism doesn't seem fair. Over time, I realized that the criticism is often more applicable to the criticizer, and I concluded that I am a mirror for other people's weaknesses.717 R-0

Critically reviewing my life In 2000 or so, I critically reviewed my life, all my weaknesses which I perceived, much like Ben Franklin did, as he notes in autobiography, which my brother alerted me to. I found eight areas in my personal life where I wanted to improve myself: Be with God, foster my conscience, foster my willpower, foster my stewardship, be curious, serve others, support others' endeavors, be successful.1920 R-1

Ask for extraordinary assistance Conversing with: commonality Sometimes I have asked for extraordinary help from people I know with power: to go to university in Soviet-occupied Lithuania; to get a visa for my love; to get help from Lithuania's foreign ministry for Kenyans; to have a place to stay for the night from the Church in Warsaw. I learned how help was not forthcoming, or how it was much more or much less than what I merited.746 T-0

Try out all possible solutions Conversing with: impossibility In avoiding bankruptcy, I'm trying to take every reasonable step along the way. In trying to make a living from my business, Minciu Sodas, I kept looking for the most promising and sensible opportunity. In pursuing my sweetheart, I'm trying to show that I care about her in every way. In trying to save David's home, and especially, in encouraging him to take action to save it, I've tried to show that I'm ever interested. These are all areas where I can't assure my own success yet must try to do my part.755 C3-0